Attitude of Gratitude

This post is a little different than most, because I'm going to get a little crafty with you.

In our house, having the children do chores was starting to become time consuming, burdensome, and a trigger to much irritation and anger. So I stopped forcing them.

Now before you freak out thinking that I'm not teaching them responsibility and so on and so forth, I stopped them for awhile to think about and reevaluate why we were having them do chores and where we had gone wrong or what we had been missing in our teaching.

This month I have been trying to be intentional in thinking about all that I am thankful for, and as a part of that serving my family as a response to my appreciation for having such a blessing. Having stopped the children's chores (well, not completely), naturally, all that work fell back on me, so I was taking the opportunity to have a better attitude myself in doing them.

This made me realize something - we were teaching our children about responsibility, but not gratefulness. That's what was missing. Doing chores is not just about learning to be responsible, it's about being a good steward of the things God has blessed us with. But if I want them to think about taking care of our house and their things as an act of stewardship, I first must teach them to appreciate what they have been given! (That's the light bulb that went on in my head).

What does this mean for chores? Well, I've changed the system. We no longer have "chores" that are assigned to be done. We now have what I call "Thankful Acts". I made up cards with our chores, each has a poem that reminds them to be thankful for what they have and the act that shows appreciation.

There are acts they are all expected to do and then there are others they can choose from. Those that are not chosen, I will do (at least at first) while we continue to teach and encourage them to have attitudes of gratefulness.

One of the great parts about being a parent is that I learn so much in my efforts to teach them. I am so thankful that God laid it on me to take a break from the madness of trying to force them to learn responsibility to realize how much more important it is to teach them to be grateful for God's many blessings and that responsibility is how we show that, and in the process He worked on my attitude about serving my family.

"Whatever you do in word and deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father." - Colossians 3:17

Hurricanes in the Home

Recently, Hurricane Sandy blew through the east coast.

Not long before that a hurricane blew through our home. This hurricane was caused by a cold front of bitterness colliding with a warm front of anger over the deep waters of our marriage relationship.

Waves of emotion crashed down. Tears rained for days. Thundering shouts of anger, lightning strikes of hurtful words.

The storm got so bad, I wanted to evacuate, but eventually decided to ride it out.

Then there was a loss of power.

Well, not really, because the truth is, I never had the power in the first place. (Matt. 6:13)

Thankfully, our power didn't actually go out during the actual storm, because by that point we were already in clean up mode. Literally. My husband is a landscaper, so the storms meant no work for him, so being holed up in our house, we embarked on a major house cleaning project.

This project involved going through every room in our house, clearing out the clutter, cleaning the room and carpets, painting dressers, and while we were at it - washing all the laundry in the entire house.

Now, I LOVE when we do projects together. I'm not really sure my husband is in the love stage when it comes to this. Honestly, I don't blame him, it always ends up in an argument. A big argument.

This time was different. This time we didn't argue even once. We were patient with each other, encouraging, and when I started to get tired and whiny and wanted to quit - Joshua was comforting and encouraging. He held strong, working day and night to paint dressers, sift through belongings, clean carpets and even helping keep up with the laundry.

It. Was. Amazing.

As much as I hate going through these storms in our relationship (this would not be the first), I love what God does through it. It's not just that we got through a huge project together without arguing (though you have no idea how HUGE that is), that just represents some of the ways God has been working on us.

Oh, and God is doing big things in the heart of my husband who not only endured Hurricane Barbie, but has been lovingly bringing me back to where God wants me.

Work in Progress

To this end also we pray for you always, that our God will count you worthy of your calling, and fulfill every desire for goodness and the work of faith with power, so that the name of our Lord Jesus will be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ...But we should also give thanks to God for you, brethren beloved by the Lord, because God has chosen you from the beginning for salvation through sanctification by the Spirit and faith in the truth. It was for this He called you through our gospel, that you may gain the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. So then, brethren, stand firm and hold to the traditions which you were taught, whether by word of mouth or by letter from us. Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father, who has loved us and given us eternal comfort and good hope by grace, comfort and strengthen your hearts in every good work and word.

2 Thessalonians 1:11-12; 2:13-17

Background: Paul wrote this to the Thessalonians because of the extreme faith and perseverance they showed when faced with suffering at the hands of unbelievers. 

I read this and think - Wow! Here is an example of what Christianity is all about. That even when faced with trials still we look to God for faith and power and stand firm in His truth. 

My last blog post I wrote about some struggles to do what is right. Since then I have made the choice to do what is right, even though it went against my feelings. But I can tell you that though it didn't make my life perfect, once again, I have peace. There was no peace in setting my heart against God and what He had planned for my life. There is no peace in trying to deny Truth. There IS peace in obedience. 

I am ashamed of the attitude I had and the words that were said. And I am so thankful for a God who forgives! 

This passage above reminds me that I was chosen by God for salvation. He chose me for sanctification - the process of growing to be more like Christ. That road is long and hard, but when we follow that path it brings Him glory.

When I am brought to the end of myself, I can't understand why I thought my plan was better, or that somehow I had more insight into how everything should work out. It seems ridiculous to have been crying out to God, "But it wasn't supposed to be this way! This is what I wanted to happen! This is what you were supposed to do!" As if I understood exactly how this brief moment, that is my life, fit into His eternal plan of Glory. 

And yes, those things I wanted were good things. They were even things that God wants. The problem is I wanted it to happen in MY timing and according to MY plan. This is not how God works. I know this. 

Thankfully, He has provided this wonderful gift of the Holy Spirit that can give me strength, comfort, peace, patience, and even joy as I wait for His timing and follow His plan. Of course, this would be much easier if He could give me a date, or even some idea of what He has in mind...just sayin', it would be nice. 

Until then I will put my trust in Him. I will not give way to worry, fear, and anger, but rather seek comfort and strength in Him alone. At least, I'm working on it. 

A Matter of the Heart

I've been trying to find the words to write this for weeks... I've started and stopped and started over quite a few times. There were times I would think I had it all figured out in my head, but when I got to my computer to write, none of it sounded right anymore. Today, I'm going to give it my best shot.

I've really been wrestling over something. I've been angry, bitter, hurt, outraged, sad, stressed and disappointed.

Why? Well, I could tell you the situation and you may say that my feelings are valid and you would be feeling this way too. It's only normal. And I have tried to justify my feelings and the choices that I want to make based on those feelings. Choices that I know are wrong.

Yup, that's right I said it. I KNOW that I am wrong. The truth is, the situation is not THE problem. Yes, it is a problem, but not THE problem. My feelings are a reaction to the situation, but they are also revealing a much deeper issue.

I'm angry, bitter, hurt, outraged, sad, stressed and disappointed because deep down I'm not trusting God.

I say I believe in God, His promises, and His Word; but I certainly am not acting like it right now. It all comes down to what I really believe. Do I really believe God is good, no matter what happens? Do I really believe God is sovereign over everything, including my life? Do I really believe that His plan is better than mine? Do I really believe that He is for me, not against me? Do I really believe He is the God of grace and mercy? The God of forgiveness? The God of righteousness? or Do I believe that I deserve something better than what I have been given? That the plan I have for my life is much better than God's plan? That I deserve to be treated a certain way?

GRRRRRR, AAARRGGGHHHH!!!!!!

I know, I know, I KNOW! I know what is true and quite honestly it's why I haven't acted on the choices I feel like making. But knowing doesn't make it easy.

Focusing on my feelings, and the situation has certainly given Satan a stronghold. But God's hold on me is stronger.

How do I know? Because I see my sin for what it is and I'm broken over it. I so desperately want to do what is right in God's eyes, which is not going to be easy. I'm still struggling with my feelings and the current situation. This is only one of many struggles I will go through in life, it's certainly not the first. Each time I will have to make a choice, and I will always choose to live what I believe. Of course, sometimes I have to ask myself, what do I believe? My prayer is that when I am reminded of the truth, that I will act accordingly.

And that is my prayer now, that not only will I do what I know is right, but that I will want to. I need God to give me the "want to" because that is not what my flesh desires. These past few weeks I've had more of an "I know what I want and I want it now" attitude.

Yeah, my heart is pretty ugly right now. Just keepin' it real. This is what I am on my own. Oh, how I desperately need My Savior!

Here is a link to a song that gives a great description of where I am right now

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tODYE_nt224

The Best Laid Plans...

I know you all are DYING to know all about our little bundle of joy's entrance into the world. So I'm going to tell you.

Let me start by saying, as much as I was looking forward to having this baby to hold in my arms and finding out if we were having a boy or a girl, I was not looking forward to experiencing any pain during the labor process. I know, I was being a little ridiculous and selfish, but I was actually praying that this labor would be a "piece of cake". I had even told my husband that if it wasn't going extremely easy than I was going to get an epidural. He thought I was being crazy because he knows how much I hate needles and epidurals terrify me.

I kept saying it anyway. In fact, I said it so much, I had pretty much convinced myself that if I had any pain, I should just get the epidural because I was just too tired to deal with any amount of pain.

Contractions started weeks ago. Here and there, some nasty, some more bearable. This last Friday, they were pretty close together and getting worse, so we thought we should go in and just make sure since I was past my due date at this point anyway. Well, we went in and they checked me, had us walk around for an hour and then checked me again. They told us nothing was going on, it was just a false alarm and that I should keep my next appointment, because I was probably going to have to schedule an induction. At this point, and for the last 4 weeks, they told me the baby was head down. Then they sent us home.

Josh and I put the kids to bed and decided to watch a movie together. I was still having pains and contractions, so I reclined on the couch with my heating pads trying to get them to stop. The contractions were finally calming down, but I had some sharp pains in my stomach. After we had been home for two hours, my water broke.

We definitely knew for sure we were in labor this time. So we called the dr. and waited for our sitter to come back and prepared to head to the hospital. I was already exhausted. I started getting anxious about how intense this labor might be and was praying yet again that it would be easy.

At this point, I began diverting my attention to what I knew was going to be my focal point for this labor - a song from one of the Seeds Family Worship cds we got our kids for Easter. These cds are Scripture put to music and a couple weeks before baby was due, we had been listening to this particular song and I just knew it was the one that would stick with me.

"He alone is my rock and my salvation. He is my fortress I will never be shaken." This is Psalm 62:2


The funny part was, since the moment my water broke, I couldn't stop shaking. Focusing on this song was helping me to calm down enough to stop the shaking.

Anyway, we got to the hospital and they put me in a labor and delivery room and told me to get ready so they can check out what's going on, how far along in the process we were and what not. So I did. The midwife came in and checked me and said, "Well, that's interesting. There's a foot in your cervix. I'ld say we have a footling breech and you're going to have a c-section." All I could manage to say was, "When?" She replied, "Right now."

I got scared. I've never had a c-section and I wasn't really sure what to think about having to have one. I kept going back to my focal point. It cleared my head and I began to think about it. I had been saying for a month that I wanted this labor to be pretty much painless. It finally occurred to me, God was answering my prayer. All my talking about getting an epidural had actually prepared me to not be scared when it came down to the fact I actually had to have one. While having surgery was still a little scary, I realized, I wasn't going to be able to feel any pain during this process.

Less than two hours after I got to the hospital the second time, Titus was born. I laid on a table, pretty much half asleep the whole time. Partly enjoying the strangeness of it all.

It was an experience. In fact, it was kind of interesting. Yes, the recovery is a lot more difficult, but it is forcing me to take it easy.

As I look at this whole process from before baby was due to now, I can see how God has been looking out for me. He heard me cry out and he answered me. (Psalm 120:1 - "In my trouble I cried to the Lord and He answered me.")

I had been crying out to the Lord for a while now, that I needed a rest. He heard my cry and I want to share with you all the ways He answered that for me.

•  Earlier this year, it was determined that I would not be able to go out to California for my summer classes because of when the baby was due. 
• After that first point, I planned to take a class at home, but that also did not work out for financial reasons.
• During the summer, our schedule is usually jammed packed with swimming lessons, safety town and other fun activities. This year the schedule just was not working out for us, so we did not sign up for anything and have just been enjoying a relaxing summer together as a family.
• Josh usually goes back to work the day after I come home from the hospital, and I was not wanting that to happen this year. After having the c-section, he couldn't go back to work right away, so I get to enjoy him over this holiday weekend : )
• There are some things that I committed to doing, even though I knew I probably shouldn't, that now I had to step away from, with much relief. 

It's not easy for me to take a break from the activity of life to just rest and enjoy the little things, but I knew that's what I needed, and God knew too, because despite me trying to ignore it, He made sure it happened. 

While recovery is taking longer than usual, I am recovering well. And I'm thankful that my God hears me and He answers me and He knows my needs even more than I do. 

Timing is Everything

As most of you know, I have been anxiously awaiting the arrival of our sixth child. Today is our due date (June 26th), but so far no progress.

I have been trying to be patient. It's not easy.

I am trying to remind myself that God's timing is better than mine. Also hard to do when I have plans and things I want to do. BUT I am determined to rest in HIS timing and not be so wrapped up in mine.

Ecclesiastes 31:1-14 has been a huge help in this:

¹There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under heaven:

²a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

³a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

⁴a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

⁵a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

⁶a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

⁷a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

⁸a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

⁹What does the worker gain from his toil? ¹⁰I have seen the burden God has laid on men. ¹¹He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. ¹²I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. ¹³That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. ¹⁴I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.

So often we want everything to happen in our time. Then there's those who tell us, "Good things come to those who wait". I've been doing a lot of waiting lately, and in that process I've had a lot of time to think about waiting. What I think that saying leaves out is that it's not just waiting that brings good things, it's how we wait and what we are waiting for. If I'm going to wait for something, it should be because I am waiting on God's timing. While I'm waiting, I should be resting in the Lord, trusting that His timing is perfect and is for the best. 

My flesh tells me to be impatient and anxious. My spirit tells me to patiently rest in the Lord. 

I already know that there is much blessing in store - I am waiting on the arrival of a child! My children have been huge blessings in my life, and that's part of why I'm getting impatient - I am so excited to welcome this child into the world and into our lives. However, I also know that whatever plans I have do not compare to God's plan. He knows everything from beginning to end, while I am limited in my sight. 

To trust in God is my resolve. Pray for me.

It's Not Fair!

This week's lesson from a four year old. 

Earlier this week, we were having a snack and my daughters were upset that I would not let them have more. They expressed their feelings by whining, "That's not fair!" My four year old, Jade, replied to their whining, "The only thing that is not fair is that Jesus had to die on the cross." 

Wow. That was way more profound than what I was going to say, which was something along the lines of "Too bad." or "Life's not fair." 

I was glad she replied first, because then we got to talk about why that is the only thing that is not fair, and it became a reminder for the whole family for the rest of the week. Any time someone said, "It's not fair!" We reminded them what really wasn't fair. 

It made me think about all the things I act like are not fair in my life. Maybe I don't cross my arms and stomp my foot and whine "It's not fair!" But I might still act like it's not fair by not responding to every circumstance in life with worship and praise to the Creator, the One who was willing to die to take on my sin so that I can have renewed life. 

Sometimes I need to take a lesson from a four year old. That's ok, cuz I love that they can teach me and remind me just as I teach them. It certainly has a way of keeping this girl humbled. Thank you Lord, for such wonderful blessings!