Wednesday, May 16, 2012

A Bed of Roses

Sometimes things just aren't the way we want them to be. Nothing is going right and we wonder where God is in the midst of it all. After all, the Christian life is not a bed of roses.

Or is it?

I don't know about yours, but my bed still has some thorns in it and every once in a while I roll into a big patch of them. In my stubbornness, I would rather let them remain stuck to me than deal with the pain of having them pulled out - even if it means healing.

For those of you who just got lost in that analogy, let me explain. Choosing to follow God is wonderful in so many ways (a bed of roses) in that God gives us comfort and we are surrounded by the wonderful fragrance of His grace. However, there are still some tough times we have to endure (the thorns).

We can choose to be bitter and unforgiving during those times, or even just have a bad attitude. If we choose that, it is like allowing the thorn to stay stuck in the flesh, eventually causing infection - just like how our bad attitudes will effect our relationships with those around us. Possibly even "infecting" others.

Or we can allow the painful, yet healing process of having the thorns pulled out of our flesh. This happens when we allow God to work in us in those areas that are already quite painful.

This week I had a choice to make - was I going to allow bitterness and unforgiveness fester, or was I going to let go of my stubbornness and begin the healing process? Unfortunately, for a while, I was choosing the former. But staying angry is exhausting! Besides, even though it hurts a little to let go of my stubborn pride, I would much rather watch things heal. I don't like being a mean bitter person anyway. I'm going to roll back over into my petals now, very carefully.

Honey, I'm sorry, sometimes I'm a stubborn jerk and am not willing to extend forgiveness, even though I often need it. I do forgive you. Will you please forgive me?

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Weary With Pain, Joyful in Heart

I am weary. This pregnancy has been far more painful than any other, even without having to deal with sciatic nerve pain. The pain I am experiencing now, I have been told there is nothing I can do about it. It won't go away until I have the baby, and my due date is still 8 weeks away.

The pain keeps me from sleeping well. I wake up more tired than when I went to sleep. Even getting in bed is difficult and I end most days in tears (which is not like me at all). Last night, my husband said he thinks I had an anxiety attack in my sleep the way I was breathing and kicking. I'm glad I don't remember that.

Just so you know this post is not just a big complaint. Although, let's be real  - that IS exactly what I am tempted to do all day, every day.

But instead, I find myself thinking about what I can be doing to help my husband to be able to rest more when he gets home from work. And trying to make sure my children's needs are met and what fun things I can do for/with them as well. (Yes, I do realize I just started two sentences with a conjunction - for those of you grammar junkies like me.) Planning and preparation for opportunities to minister to and serve others, and staff appreciation plans for the girls' school.

I could wallow in my pain and feeling sorry for myself and truth be told, some days I do.

A couple weeks ago, I reminded myself of a passage in Scripture in the funniest way actually. We were talking about what you shouldn't say to someone who is grieving and I thought of this passage. What is so funny about it is that it is exactly what has reminded me to have joy and hope through my pain.

Rom. 8:18 - "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared to the glory that is to be revealed to us."

This verse is just part of a passage that speaks about the suffering we will endure as children of God, but that we can look forward to the coming glory of Christ's return and even now, we have strength through the help of the Holy Spirit and hope in knowing that all things work together for those who are His. This verse reminds me of all that.

Eight weeks may seem like a long time to have to deal with this pain and exhaustion, but even if it lasted for the rest of my life, that is short-term compared to eternity.

It WILL end. There is hope in knowing that it WILL end.

I also have found a lot of comfort in this song "Count it All Joy" by Shannon Wexelberg. Here are the lyrics, I hope it will give hope and comfort to anyone else who is going through a time of suffering as well:

Blessed is the one 
for the sake of the Son 
who stands through the fire and the flood 
he will receive a reward from the King 
a crown for a victory won 

so let's make a choice 
to stand up and rejoice 
steadfast whatever may come 
to stand and believe 
that the Lord will complete 
the wonderful work He's begun 

Count it all joy 
When we face many trials 
When we suffer for righteousness sake 

Count it all joy 
For like gold in the fire 
Every test is refining our faith 

Count it all joy 
Count it all joy 

Blessed is the one 
who says Gods will be done 
running the race faithfully 
his feet are sure 
finding strength to endure 
keeping his eyes on the King 

he's not tossed like the waves of the sea 
and strong winds continue to blow 
so let us trust 
let us hope and believe 
as our faith continues to grow 

Count it all joy 
When we face many trials 
When we suffer for righteousness sake 

Count it all joy 
For like gold in the fire 
Every test is refining our faith 

Count it all joy 
Count it all joy 

For God has not promised 
a path that is not marked with pain 
but He has promised 
the joy of His presence 
for those who will trust in His name 

Count it all joy 
When we face many trials 
When we suffer for righteousness sake 

Count it all joy 
For like gold in the fire 
Every test is refining our faith 

Count it all joy 
When we face many trials 
When we suffer for righteousness sake 

Count it all joy 
For like gold in the fire 
Every test is refining our faith 

Count it all joy 
Count it all joy 
Count it all joy 
Count it all joy 

Oh, we count it all joy