Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Get Over Yourself!

Oh, this is something I should tell myself every day.

How often do you find yourself feeling sorry for yourself, or feeling guilty about not having done something, or obsessively thinking about something you wish you could do over? Well, I do this often, which means that much of the time my thoughts are full of me.

Me, me, me, what do I have to do today, what do I want to do, what do I need or want, what I wish I could do/have, how I feel about such and such, what I think about this or that, how someone is treating me, I could go on and on.

In the midst of throwing myself a mini pity party, even I became fed up and in my mind I just yelled, "Get over yourself, Barbie!" I mean seriously, how prideful can I be? Apparently very. And of course that got me thinking about just how full of pride I am.

I like to be encouraged, like anyone else, but I've realized that much of the time, I just like to hear people tell me what I am good at, or that I look nice that day. I know what you are thinking, "Who doesn't like to hear that?" And yes, we all like to hear a compliment, but I obsess over such things. In fact, I almost get depressed when I don't get a compliment about something I think I should. Even worse, when someone pays me a compliment and I take the credit instead of giving credit where it is due. This may mean not telling them about the part someone else did to make it successful, that it wasn't all my work, but ooh how the guilt really hits when I don't give credit to God.

You may be thinking that I am just being hard on myself. But wait, let me continue. People often say that during times of prosperity and peace, we neglect our need for Christ and think we can handle life on our own. That couldn't be more true with me. How often I forget my need for a Saviour, as if somehow I got to a point where I no longer need His forgiveness, strength, peace, self-control, mercy, grace! Oh I am so thankful that He doesn't let me forget for very long.

Or how many of us read our Bibles and make it all about us. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. When you look at the Bible as a though it was specifically written for your personal life. Yes, we are to apply it to our lives, but how many of us our missing the bigger picture of how it speaks to the church as a whole or the fact that the ENTIRE Bible is written to point us to Christ! It's really more about how He has revealed Himself to us. But it's so easy to read it and think, "So what does this have to do with me?" and do Bible study with that goal, finding what it has to do with you. What if we instead asked, "So what does this have to do with Christ?" and after we answer that, "Knowing that, what do I need to change to make my life reflect that?"

So you can see, that it is necessary for me to tell myself periodically

"GET OVER YOURSELF! Who do you think you are anyway?"

Life is not all about me. It's about Christ and what He has done in my life. Now if only I could remember that day by day, moment by moment.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

What's Goin' On?

In case you've been asking this question pertaining to why I haven't written lately (don't you love how I assume you care that much), anyway I'll tell you. I could kick myself for not writing about some things, but oh well, here's an abbreviated version of the happenings in my life as of late.

One week ago I broke my toe. It was definitely a case of stupidity, I'll freely admit. However, it sparked some curiosity in me regarding my reaction to it and other people's reaction to my reaction. Have I lost you yet? What I mean is, when it happened, I moaned, groaned, whimpered, seethed through my teeth, did everything short of screaming that you can probably think of to indicate I was in pain, BUT I did not cry. The person who was with me even said, "Barbie, this is the first time I've ever seen you ALMOST cry." She has known me for about 5 years and has never seen me cry? Really? Then later I was talking to my sister about what happened and when she said something about me crying about it, I quickly replied, "I was not crying!" I had to ask myself, "Why do I feel the need to be such a tough girl?" I don't cry often, and I'm not saying that to brag it's just a reality. But this situation got me thinking, about why I have such a hard time shedding tears. I mean it is a natural way to express emotion. The worst part about it is, I think I push my tough girl attitude on my kids. The truth is God created tears, and even Jesus wept over things that burdened his soul. I'm not saying we need to be cry babies, but I truly think shedding some tears is perfectly acceptable when much physical pain is endured or even when we have truly been hurt emotionally. I'm now wondering how much my holding back the tears attitude has resulted in outbursts of anger.

I've also started trying couponing. I don't know if you would call it extreme, cuz I'm certainly not seeing savings in the range of $400-$500, of course I don't even buy that much in groceries. However, this past week, I did save a little over $200. Still savings well worth the time it took to get started, and believe me it takes time. The most time is spent the first time you try to do it, because clipping the coupons and digging through the ads just seems to take forever, not to mention organizing the coupons for use. Once you get started, it's really not that hard, but you have to find a system that works for you. I'm still learning, and I'm hoping that the more I learn the more I save. So, we'll see!

Some friends and I are starting a craft club. I'm so excited about this! I always think of things I want to make and just never make the time to do it, so it's exciting to actually be setting aside time for this.

The women's retreat is coming up! Also, very exciting! I'm mostly exciting about the fact that all three of my sisters will be coming. Yay, sisters' weekend! But it has been taking time to get stuff ready for the weekend.

The sun has been shining! Yes, this is a very important part of my life and has kept me busy playing outside with the kids. Which means less time on the computer and less time for writing. Oh well, there's always rainy days and eventually winter will come back, but let's not dwell on that thought.