The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick;
Who can understand it?
Recently, I have been having some crazy dreams. A couple of these dreams have very much alarmed me. I will not go into the details here, other than to say, they are dreams of me doing things I never thought I would do.
Sure, they are just dreams. It doesn't mean I will ever physically do these things. However, as I woke this morning I was reminded of this verse:
But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has
already committed adultery with her in his heart.
I know this is about men lusting after women and that is a common issue men have, but right here, right now, let's speak the truth
Women also have sexual desires, and these desires can affect them in similar sinful ways.
There I said it. I'm throwing it out there like a bomb. But I just need to be real.
Now, let me also make clear, that I have not been having desires for men other than my husband. However, the dreams I have had and remembering this verse have made something very clear to me
I am capable of any sin.
Who do I think I am, that I have in my own mind that I am above any type of sin? The verse at the top makes it clear, my heart is deceitful and desperately sick. Who can understand it? God can. The very one who has created my heart is the only one who can cleanse my heart
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins
and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:9
I am not able to keep myself from sin, no matter how hard I try. No matter how much I say I don't want it in my life. I NEED Christ. I NEED the Holy Spirit to continue His work in me. (Phil 1:6) I NEED to cry out to Him:
Do not let my heart incline to any evil,
to busy myself with wicked deeds
In company with men who work iniquity,
and let me not eat of their delicacies!
...But my eyes are toward you, O God, my Lord;
in you I seek refuge, leave me not defenseless!
Psalm 141:4, 8