Have I abandoned ship?

Recently in the news there has been reports of the captain of a cruise ship who abandoned his ship as it was sinking; leaving all of the passengers to fend for themselves. New reports have said there is even an audio recording of the captain refusing to get out of his lifeboat to go help passengers.

For the last month, God has really been hitting me about my words. Giving me a desire to be more encouraging in how I speak to my husband and children and just really being mindful of my speech. After much prayer, I began studying the book of Jeremiah in relation to this - I know it seems like an odd choice, but man has God spoken volumes so far, and I'm not even all the way through the book!

Do I have a heart like Jeremiah that says, "Lord I am unqualified" but is still willing to be used?
Or is my heart more like the people of Judah who have turned to their own ways, because the ways of the world seem easier than what God requires of us?
Am I grieved over sin, mine and others, out of a humble heart?
Or has pride calloused me to the depth of what it means to have committed treason against the High King?

Unfortunately, what I have learned is that I have had a lot of pride in my heart. My speech needs a lot of work, because it reflects my heart and, well, that's not very pretty right now. Of course it wasn't so blatantly obvious until just last night...

Last night we had a meeting for our upcoming women's retreat that our church does. In this meeting we decided who would serve in which areas. I was chosen to run sound. Really? Sound? That was my reaction.

Ok, I know this is going to not make sense to some of you, but doing background is not my comfort zone. Yes, I am more comfortable being out in front. How can that be? Well, I have spent pretty much my entire life as an attention seeker, so being in the center of attention is right up my ally.

The more I talked about how awkward I thought it was that I had been chosen for such a background position, the more I realized the extent of my pride. God was showing me my selfish "me me me" attitude. That I like to be out front, because I like getting recognition for the things I do and quite frankly, running sound may never receive any praise.

Talk about hard to hear!

Anyway, so what does this have to do with the ship captain I mentioned earlier. This morning I heard that story mentioned and I realized that like that captain, I was more concerned with my own comfort than that of others. There are going to be many things in life that God asks us to do that may be difficult for us for one reason or another. We can decide whether or not we are going to, through Him, do what's difficult and allow Him to grow us through it, or if we are going to abandon ship.

If I'm going to be honest, I would have to say that I have abandoned ship. I have not been willing to put aside my own wants and desires in order to show grace to my family. And for a little while, I was not sure I was willing to put aside my pride and comfort to join my church family in rescuing the lives of those who are spiritually dead. I admit, the job of sound still does not sound very enticing to me. However, knowing that God is doing a work on my heart does.

A Perfect(ed) Body

Yesterday, at church, my pastor mentioned how when a Christian goes to heaven their perfected soul is joined with their perfected body. So those who have illness or physical impairments will have a perfected body in heaven.

DISCLAIMER: I have no biblical reference for what I am about to say, it is purely an interesting thought I had that I would like to further study.


What if, when we got to heaven, we were given the same bodies we have, but because there is no sin in heaven, we would see those bodies as being perfect because that is the way they were created?

Wouldn't that be kind of cool? It would be like when we finally start to look at someone who really drives us crazy through the eyes of Christ. We can't help but love them. So rather than anything about our physical bodies actually changing, how we view them would be what changes. We would see them through the eyes of Christ.

Again, this is just a random thought, but I thought it was an interesting thing to ponder. And if you have any Scripture that supports or even discredits this thought, PLEASE share, I would love to know!

Looking Forward to 2012

This new year has much in store for our family. I'm looking ahead with excitement as I get to be a part of some new beginnings, some "landmark" moments and just another year of the Lord's faithfulness.

Here are some things I'm looking forward to in 2012:

• First time taking the kids on a real sledding hill and not just the plow pile in our backyard.
• Josh getting his IT certification.
• Watching the kids play soccer for the first time this spring.
• Welcoming baby #6 into our family and our world.
• Taking the kids to the amusement park for the first time this summer.
• Celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary (Yes, we have actually been married for that long, or at least we will be in August).
• Having all three girls in elementary school.
• Gideon getting to begin Preschool.
• Celebrating Jade's 5th birthday.
• And honestly, I'm a little scared about this last one - turning 30. 

These are just some of the things this year holds, but I'm definitely excited about what I know is to come. Imagine how exciting all the extra surprises will be!!!!

Happy New Year!!!! May your year hold many blessings from the Lord.

Who I've Been, Who I Am, Who I Want to Be & the People Who Help Get Me There

The other day I was thinking about the people that I have looked up to throughout my life. These are people who have inspired me, taught me, or just modeled for me what I want (or wanted) to be. So rather than just doing a look back over the last year, I guess you can say I looked back over the whole of my life. Where was I at certain points in my life? Who did I look up to and why? Where am I now? Where do I want to go? Who do I look up to that models where I want to be? Does this line up with what God wants me to be? These are the questions I asked myself and here is the outline version.

Let me preface this by saying, I never wanted to be these people, but I admired certain qualities they have/had and think about do I exemplify these in my life and if not how can I.

The younger years:

When I was little I looked up to my sister Cathy. She was only two years older than me and my best friend, but she taught me so much. She was kind to me, even when I was mean to her. She helped me with my homework and even taught me some of the things she was learning so I would be smarter than my classmates : ) - not sure how well that worked.

Older elementary:

At this age, I was really into my music and already wanted to be a professional dancer. However, I still looked up to those who didn't get into a lot of trouble because they chose not to be troublemakers. (I obviously was not one of those.) One friend in particular who was like this was my friend Mary Black. She simply didn't want to do what she wasn't supposed to. I didn't understand that, being a rebellious sort. Anyway, I admired that in her and continued to admire that as we went into jr. high and high school. As I got into more and more trouble, sharing my adventures with her, she still just didn't understand why I would seek after that. It made me question that myself.

Jr. high:

Honestly, at this age I looked up to any woman who was a professional dancer in music videos or who was considered attractive by men. Yes, I was very shallow. That was where I was at that point in my life and I'm not going to deny it.

High school:

Jon (my stepdad). It took me a long time to really even like Jon, but when I finally got over my immature ridiculousness or just not wanting a father figure around, I was able to see how much he really loved our family.

As an adult:

I am saying as an adult meaning from the time I was 18, because, well some of them have stayed the same.

Glen and Georgann Richardson have been staples in my life for as long as I remember. But it wasn't until I was about 18 that I really got to know them. I truly admire Glen's dedication and commitment to studying Scripture daily, and his incredible recall of Scripture. Whenever I am realizing that I have let myself get out of my quiet time routine, I think about Glen and his commitment to being in the Word daily. Oh how I want that kind of commitment. When I think of a gentle and quiet spirit, Georgann is always the first person to come to mind. She is the sweetest person I know. She always has a word of encouragement on her tongue. I do have to say when I learned that she has only ever yelled at her kids one time I was struck with shock. I can totally believe that she would never yell, because again she is just a gentle and quiet spirit. I was shocked because I could never imagine that being me, although I would love to have enough control over my tongue that I don't yell at my kids (or Josh), so that is something I am working on, because I know that it is Christ in her that is the reason she can do that. Knowing that it would have to be Christ in me gives me some hope of it being a possibility.

Wendy Whitely is a great model of being a supportive help-mate to her spouse and I truly admire that. I'm not always so supportive or encouraging to Josh and I definitely need real people to be examples of that for me. At times when I need a reminder of what it looks like to be the help-mate, I think of Wendy.



These people are by no means perfect. However, I see them as the Paul's in my life that are saying, "Follow me as I follow Christ". They are living what they believe. They are living what they say they believe and what they teach others. I admire them in that I want to develop those Christlike qualities that I see in them, because I know that's what God wants for me and that's what He wants to do in me, if I will give up the control so He can. (As I stop writing to yell at my kids) Quite obviously, I am by no means perfect either.

Anyway, I don't know if those I wrote about will read this or not, but they have really meant a lot to me and continue to mean a lot to me. They are also the ones I still keep in contact with regularly, because of how much they mean in my life. Love you guys, and thank you so much!

To Be an Oak Tree

This week, in the homework of a bible study I am just finishing up, we had to take a look at Scripture that refers to those in Christ as oak trees. The key verse we were looking at is as follows:

Isaiah 61:3b - "So they will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified."

After looking up some other Scripture that also use the metaphor of trees, I started thinking why an oak tree? Why would this be the metaphor God chooses to describe His people? So I started thinking about what I know about oak trees and how beautiful a metaphor this truly is, and this is what I wrote:

The oak tree is strong, with roots that run deep, making it sturdy, able to withstand strong winds and rains. At times a storm may come when the branches may be torn, but the longer that tree has stood, growing, the stronger it has become. Its branches have been the joy of many a child or small animal that has played or sought refuge in its arms. Its leaves, so green with life, are a display of its connection to a significant source of water and food. Those same leaves, a wonderful display of beauty as they change colors, unveiling God's wonderful design. As winter comes and the land is barren of food, the animals feed from the fruit of its branches that has been gathered and stored for time of need. During this time it has been stripped of its clothing, washed clean and clothed in purity. It wears the snow and ice like a crown of jewels. After the snow has melted away, it bears new life on all its branches. Throughout every season, it is a wonderful display of the glory of the Lord in its strength, life, fruit, and beauty. Oh that I may be an oak tree firmly planted to display the glory of His splendor!

Food for Thought

I came across this question in my homework the other day and thought I would open it up to those of you who read my blog - don't worry, I already did the homework, but I would love to here your answers!


Do we have to sin? Explain. (Refer to Rom. 6:6,7,14)



Again, this is just food for thought, but if you would like to comment, I would love to hear your thoughts.

Childlike Prayer

"God, thank you for the food and um, that we got to play outside yesterday and um, oh yeah, help me not to be afraid at night because I don't need to cuz the boogie man is not real and the Lord is my shepherd I shall not be afraid. Oh, and please let it be sunny tomorrow, not too sunny, a little cloudy, but sunny cuz I want to play outside. Amen."

This is a prayer of my four year old. I am humbled that even with the limited amount of Scripture she knows, she still prays Scripture. Of course, not all the time, but that even at four she would do that is just so cool! I just love how kids keep us humble.

 “Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. 

Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. " Matt. 18:3-4